IGN: Moohar
Genre: Comedy (lore/fantasy/dark)
Word Count: 704+3
A pet's life
The voice of Autopilot echoes through the hull. It rudely wakes me up from my dreams.
"One hour before till we land on Beta, zone 1"
I yawn hugely while stretching my branches. I wouldn't mind getting out of here and smash up some mean looking puppies. We have been to this world before, it's always puppies.
A long time ago my pack leader explained we are following a bad guy named Villain, who is trying to take over the universe by creating clone armies. Our task is to search and destroy. We smash his clones back into the gold metal plates they are made of. The plates we then dump in the bottomless pit back home, making sure Villain cannot use it to make more.
He does seem to have an endless supply of gold though, but I'm sure it won't last long anymore. We are getting close to him. Last time he barely escaped us by teleporting to another world. It doesn't matter, he cannot hide from us, we always know where to find him.
That is where our ship's probability drive comes in. According to the multi-world theory, Villain can be on any world at any time. Unlimited outcomes also means there is at least one timeline where we will win. The drive is set for that course, at least, that is as far as I can understand. Leader tried to explain further how probability drives are build in the future and send back to the past. And because of the impossibility of paradoxes the drive is indestructible and blah blah. I really lost him there.
BAM....bam...Bam..
Loud noises against our ship interrupt my thoughts.
"We might experience some light turbulence. Right now we are flying through a meteor storm. We apologise for the inconvenience", Autopilot informs me.
"Thank you, Autopilot", I say sarcastically. 'Stupid garbage', I think. 'We have been upgrading you for ages now, but somehow you keep flying into those storms.'
WHAABAAAAMMM
"Hull breach detected. Hull breach detected."
I quickly respond by getting the diamonds from last mining expedition. I throw them through the tear in the hull while I softly pray to the Universe Tree: "Please accept this offer and bless our ship with your healing power."
While the tear closes up, Leader runs in, "I'm here, let's fix this"
I look at him angrily, "You are too late now. Where were you for all of this?"
"Ooh, it looks like everything is ok here", he replies.
"Promise you will stay with us when we fight. Last time you weren't really there with us. Doing the bare minimum, just like Autopilot", i ask.
My mind goes back to last year. I still was a young snake back then. We travelled for the first time and we chased after spiders and rats. Those were good times, everything still new and exciting.
I continue talking: "Now that we have seen the whole universe many times over and slayed millions and millions of our enemies, our life may seem a little repetitive. But look at what we got now. We have a fleet we use to pillage and plunder our way through the universe. And then we got our bingo nights. Our life isn't that bad, not bad at all. And do you remember that fun snowball fight with Santa? Do you remember? Do you remember? Do you???"
"Good boy!", leader says while he digs through his backpack, "That reminds me, I got something for you."
My anger quickly fades away when I see what he got for me.
"Yes! My favorite! Apples!"
I stuff my mouth with apples. I don't care what anyone else says, fruit is in no way similar to babies. Something that tastes so good, cannot be bad for you. Before I notice something wrong I already swallowed them all. One of those apples had a funny taste. I start feeling weird as if the world is spinning and it's spring and autumn at the same time.
"Oh no, not this again! I feel like I have to...."
The world slowly stops to spin.
"I feel like....."
I deeply inhale. I actually feel great.
"I feel like I will make them all shite themselves to death!!!"
Genre: Comedy (lore/fantasy/dark)
Word Count: 704+3
A pet's life
The voice of Autopilot echoes through the hull. It rudely wakes me up from my dreams.
"One hour before till we land on Beta, zone 1"
I yawn hugely while stretching my branches. I wouldn't mind getting out of here and smash up some mean looking puppies. We have been to this world before, it's always puppies.
A long time ago my pack leader explained we are following a bad guy named Villain, who is trying to take over the universe by creating clone armies. Our task is to search and destroy. We smash his clones back into the gold metal plates they are made of. The plates we then dump in the bottomless pit back home, making sure Villain cannot use it to make more.
He does seem to have an endless supply of gold though, but I'm sure it won't last long anymore. We are getting close to him. Last time he barely escaped us by teleporting to another world. It doesn't matter, he cannot hide from us, we always know where to find him.
That is where our ship's probability drive comes in. According to the multi-world theory, Villain can be on any world at any time. Unlimited outcomes also means there is at least one timeline where we will win. The drive is set for that course, at least, that is as far as I can understand. Leader tried to explain further how probability drives are build in the future and send back to the past. And because of the impossibility of paradoxes the drive is indestructible and blah blah. I really lost him there.
BAM....bam...Bam..
Loud noises against our ship interrupt my thoughts.
"We might experience some light turbulence. Right now we are flying through a meteor storm. We apologise for the inconvenience", Autopilot informs me.
"Thank you, Autopilot", I say sarcastically. 'Stupid garbage', I think. 'We have been upgrading you for ages now, but somehow you keep flying into those storms.'
WHAABAAAAMMM
"Hull breach detected. Hull breach detected."
I quickly respond by getting the diamonds from last mining expedition. I throw them through the tear in the hull while I softly pray to the Universe Tree: "Please accept this offer and bless our ship with your healing power."
While the tear closes up, Leader runs in, "I'm here, let's fix this"
I look at him angrily, "You are too late now. Where were you for all of this?"
"Ooh, it looks like everything is ok here", he replies.
"Promise you will stay with us when we fight. Last time you weren't really there with us. Doing the bare minimum, just like Autopilot", i ask.
My mind goes back to last year. I still was a young snake back then. We travelled for the first time and we chased after spiders and rats. Those were good times, everything still new and exciting.
I continue talking: "Now that we have seen the whole universe many times over and slayed millions and millions of our enemies, our life may seem a little repetitive. But look at what we got now. We have a fleet we use to pillage and plunder our way through the universe. And then we got our bingo nights. Our life isn't that bad, not bad at all. And do you remember that fun snowball fight with Santa? Do you remember? Do you remember? Do you???"
"Good boy!", leader says while he digs through his backpack, "That reminds me, I got something for you."
My anger quickly fades away when I see what he got for me.
"Yes! My favorite! Apples!"
I stuff my mouth with apples. I don't care what anyone else says, fruit is in no way similar to babies. Something that tastes so good, cannot be bad for you. Before I notice something wrong I already swallowed them all. One of those apples had a funny taste. I start feeling weird as if the world is spinning and it's spring and autumn at the same time.
"Oh no, not this again! I feel like I have to...."
The world slowly stops to spin.
"I feel like....."
I deeply inhale. I actually feel great.
"I feel like I will make them all shite themselves to death!!!"