02-04-2018, 01:11 AM
IGN: Zornitsa
Genre: Lore/Comical
Title: Bedtime story
"Jimmy! Quit playing with your Tardigradizools, child, rinse and get out of that bathtub before you turn into a Delta sponge monster!"
"But Nana-a-a-a..."
"Don't you 'but' me, young man, it's bed time! Don't forget to wash your teeth..."
* * *
"Now, now, look at you, turns out there is a handsome young man under all that grime. Let's tuck you in... there, now be so kind to remind this old woman where did we end the story last night?"
"The whales. Oh, Nana, I saw Grandpa today. Near the fishing dock. Well, I think it was him, but he's the only one in a Heliboat, right? He seems to be still chasing that whale..."
"That fool of a man, your Grandpa! You know, Jimmy, you don't really remember it, but he was not always like this, your grandfather. He used to be a marine biologist, so smart and responsible. And handsome, mind you, you have his gorgeous blue eyes. He even wrote a thesis on preservation of the sea mammals. Lemme remember the title... 'The Negative Effects of The Global Warming Event on The Planet Beta Fauna'. Some people laughed and called it a myth back then, what did they know... But my brave man never stopped warning them. See, he cared about them fishies and wanted to protect them."
"So what happened to him, Nana?"
"The Fish Orb. That's what happened, child. You see, back then, we didn't know the Soul Orbs were cursed. He found one on the beach and brought it home and it was all great for a while. We didn't understand that this damned thing was eating at his soul until it was too late... And now my poor old man is forever doomed to try to catch a higher trophy fish..."
"Aw, Nana, don't cry! He still comes back some nights, leaves us fish on the porch. Maybe he's not lost completely. I bet when Mom and Dad come back they would have found a cure for him!"
"Now aren't you a smart young man. You are absolutely right, he brings us food, he must still remember his family. One day we'll find a way to exorcise him. And until then we have all the fish sticks we can ever eat."
"Just not the Poopaul's. They taste like sh... um... poo."
"Don't worry, my dear. Your grandmother has not yet completely lost her mind. How about we go visit your great auntie Lizzie tomorrow? She grows the best apples in her orchard, that old hag. She could never cook, my sister, not for the life of her, but gardening - mind you, she's always had a touch with those apple trees, even when we were younger than you now."
"Will you bake me a pie, Nana? With cinnamon..."
"And Sugar Crystals sprinkled on top!"
"Yay!!! Nana, you're the best!"
"I love you too, Jimmy! You're my favorite grandson!"
"But you have no other grandchildren..."
"See, exactly, my one and only favorite! Now let's get back to the story or you'll never fall asleep..."
"Nana..."
"Yes, dear?"
"Will Mom and Dad ever come back? I miss them so much..."
"Aw, sweetheart... Of course they will! My son is the best space ship pilot. They always come back, bringing home tons of Planet Cores and other goodies. Your dad just went a little overzealous this time and set on a maximum tier expedition..."
"But what if their hull fails? Bob says, when a ship's hull fails the ship will be forever lost in an endless loop of idle AI battles..."
"Don't you dare to worry, Jimmy! They have the best ship upgrades and I'm sure your mother will never allow them to get caught in an 'AP hunt loop'. That woman can eradicate a whole fleet of AI ships just by looking at them sternly!"
"Ha-ha-ha! She's like a maxed drone all by herself!"
"Now quit overthinking, young man! You want a bedtime story or not?"
"Nana!!! Look, the window... There's a monster out there!"
"A monst... Oh, dear, the Wereverine... That poor beastie is back. Such a pitiful creature. Tsk-tsk. He must be sick again. Ever since he ate the neighbour's pet..."
"He ate Mr. Steinfeld's E-Coli ?!"
"Who in their right mind keeps a gargantuan E-Coli bacteria as a pet anyways? And now all the neighbourhood's lawns are suffering the consequences of that terminal diarrhea... Tsk-tsk-tsk, some people are so irresponsible. This whole mess reminds me of the time this woman Jena moved in house next door. Lemme tell you, the memories of the smell alone still give me nightmares..."
"Should we call the Holy Warriors, Nana?"
"Don't worry, Jimmy, he can't get inside. The house is old, built with just stones, sturdy... Worst he can do is transform the lawn into a swamphole. And you know what it'll mean for us..."
"More Ultinum gas for the Fuel Station!"
"My clever boy! Now shush or I will fall asleep before finishing the story. So, where were we... Once upon a time there was a boy named Ray, who found this ancient device, opened a portal to the Idle Universe and forever changed the world we live in..."
- END -
Genre: Lore/Comical
Title: Bedtime story
"Jimmy! Quit playing with your Tardigradizools, child, rinse and get out of that bathtub before you turn into a Delta sponge monster!"
"But Nana-a-a-a..."
"Don't you 'but' me, young man, it's bed time! Don't forget to wash your teeth..."
* * *
"Now, now, look at you, turns out there is a handsome young man under all that grime. Let's tuck you in... there, now be so kind to remind this old woman where did we end the story last night?"
"The whales. Oh, Nana, I saw Grandpa today. Near the fishing dock. Well, I think it was him, but he's the only one in a Heliboat, right? He seems to be still chasing that whale..."
"That fool of a man, your Grandpa! You know, Jimmy, you don't really remember it, but he was not always like this, your grandfather. He used to be a marine biologist, so smart and responsible. And handsome, mind you, you have his gorgeous blue eyes. He even wrote a thesis on preservation of the sea mammals. Lemme remember the title... 'The Negative Effects of The Global Warming Event on The Planet Beta Fauna'. Some people laughed and called it a myth back then, what did they know... But my brave man never stopped warning them. See, he cared about them fishies and wanted to protect them."
"So what happened to him, Nana?"
"The Fish Orb. That's what happened, child. You see, back then, we didn't know the Soul Orbs were cursed. He found one on the beach and brought it home and it was all great for a while. We didn't understand that this damned thing was eating at his soul until it was too late... And now my poor old man is forever doomed to try to catch a higher trophy fish..."
"Aw, Nana, don't cry! He still comes back some nights, leaves us fish on the porch. Maybe he's not lost completely. I bet when Mom and Dad come back they would have found a cure for him!"
"Now aren't you a smart young man. You are absolutely right, he brings us food, he must still remember his family. One day we'll find a way to exorcise him. And until then we have all the fish sticks we can ever eat."
"Just not the Poopaul's. They taste like sh... um... poo."
"Don't worry, my dear. Your grandmother has not yet completely lost her mind. How about we go visit your great auntie Lizzie tomorrow? She grows the best apples in her orchard, that old hag. She could never cook, my sister, not for the life of her, but gardening - mind you, she's always had a touch with those apple trees, even when we were younger than you now."
"Will you bake me a pie, Nana? With cinnamon..."
"And Sugar Crystals sprinkled on top!"
"Yay!!! Nana, you're the best!"
"I love you too, Jimmy! You're my favorite grandson!"
"But you have no other grandchildren..."
"See, exactly, my one and only favorite! Now let's get back to the story or you'll never fall asleep..."
"Nana..."
"Yes, dear?"
"Will Mom and Dad ever come back? I miss them so much..."
"Aw, sweetheart... Of course they will! My son is the best space ship pilot. They always come back, bringing home tons of Planet Cores and other goodies. Your dad just went a little overzealous this time and set on a maximum tier expedition..."
"But what if their hull fails? Bob says, when a ship's hull fails the ship will be forever lost in an endless loop of idle AI battles..."
"Don't you dare to worry, Jimmy! They have the best ship upgrades and I'm sure your mother will never allow them to get caught in an 'AP hunt loop'. That woman can eradicate a whole fleet of AI ships just by looking at them sternly!"
"Ha-ha-ha! She's like a maxed drone all by herself!"
"Now quit overthinking, young man! You want a bedtime story or not?"
"Nana!!! Look, the window... There's a monster out there!"
"A monst... Oh, dear, the Wereverine... That poor beastie is back. Such a pitiful creature. Tsk-tsk. He must be sick again. Ever since he ate the neighbour's pet..."
"He ate Mr. Steinfeld's E-Coli ?!"
"Who in their right mind keeps a gargantuan E-Coli bacteria as a pet anyways? And now all the neighbourhood's lawns are suffering the consequences of that terminal diarrhea... Tsk-tsk-tsk, some people are so irresponsible. This whole mess reminds me of the time this woman Jena moved in house next door. Lemme tell you, the memories of the smell alone still give me nightmares..."
"Should we call the Holy Warriors, Nana?"
"Don't worry, Jimmy, he can't get inside. The house is old, built with just stones, sturdy... Worst he can do is transform the lawn into a swamphole. And you know what it'll mean for us..."
"More Ultinum gas for the Fuel Station!"
"My clever boy! Now shush or I will fall asleep before finishing the story. So, where were we... Once upon a time there was a boy named Ray, who found this ancient device, opened a portal to the Idle Universe and forever changed the world we live in..."
- END -